Sunday, May 08, 2016

Sunday, April 03, 2016

Life nowadays

So spring has arrived once again. Still slightly cold in the mornings but in the afternoon we could go about outdoors without a coat or a jacket.

I was out in the morning for just a little walk. I had to be home today as I have some things to work on for the workplace. I've a new assignment or challenge. I am excited and look forward to tomorrow to see if I can handle this new challenge well. I am determined.

I haven't been able to update as much as I would like to do to my workload. I'm usually too tired to do anything else. My work as an office admin, I have to do a lot of managing and arranging. After one project is over, I usually think that I could take a deep breath and relax a little, but they always come up with something. Recently, I have to organize a group marathon for the colleagues. Looking for suppliers, checking out the products that we need to use, prizes preparation etc. It's fun, I cannot complain that is for sure, I get to take a look at things like Joy Jewelers college rings, or personalized printed gifts for the colleagues etc. So I get to be the one to help choose. Sometimes they like what I chose,  sometimes not - but most of the time I get good reviews. I am grateful.

I am managing well so far. :)

Sunday, February 21, 2016

Hello Sunday!

Today my mood is better. I went out for a walk at 8 am after my morning routine. It was drizzling but the air was fresh. The plus side of a rainy day, I had the streets almost to myself.

I had the chance to contemplate on my life and felt the feeling of acceptance. I accept myself. Even the things that I dislike about me. I still have work to do on myself. And I need to see it as something good & exciting that will happen to me.

Life is hard when all you focus on is the lack. But think about all the possibilities!! :) I'm excited already. :)

Thank you life!

Saturday, February 20, 2016

Troubled emotions.

According to my nifty wordweb pc dictionary, "Emotions" means Any strong feeling. At the moment my emotions are a bit troubled. Strong feeling of troubledness. If there is such a way of expressing it. At this moment in my life, I've never worked harder than now to better myself, I wake up 4:30 or 5:00 every morning, to pray, meditate and learn/study. Weekdays go to work... weekends house chores... yet I feel like I'm heading nowhere - tiredness,no acknowledgement nor appreciation. Life can be such a bummer. Some days, I would just ride the emotions, go to sleep, read or watch something to make me forget. Other days I would rise up against the feeling and say 'fuck you!! go away!!' - sometimes it would work as the anger for feeling weak and pathetic would get bigger than the feeling of weak and pathetic. Sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes I do wonder if I take a knife and slit it down my skin, would the pain in my heart flow out through it so I don't feel the pain no longer? Guess I'm not brave enough to check out. Such troubled emotions....

Monday, February 15, 2016

My weekday mornings.

As promised here is my first (surely not the last :) ) vlog. I just added the last part about the so familiar staircase in my office building. Not that the staircase looks interesting, but it is a part of my daily morning routine - walking up to the 12th floor every single weekday morning. It is the only redeeming thing when I woke up late and couldn't do any stretching or a bit of exercise in the morning. Thanks for reading! :)

Sunday, February 14, 2016


I started Vlogging or video logging a few years ago. Since then I've done it a handful of times. All of them private ones.  Recently I started doing them again almost everyday on my phone. I do it so that I can see how others see me talking. :) One of my colleagues once said that I made this weird movements with  my head. LOL I know he was pulling my legs, but in any case... 

There are times when I wonder whether I should start posting them here on my blog. Though I ask myself why. Is it to get an audience who are willing to follow my life? Not that I have such an incredibly interesting life, but perhaps that would provide the boost of confidence I need. Not seeking popularity, just the courage to speak up or to show something to the the world. As it is having a personal blog is one step closer. But videos is a step further I believe.

So to vlog publicly or not to vlog publicly... that is the question. :) I will mull the thought over and perhaps I will find the answer soon. If you stumbled upon my blog randomly and would like to find out if I ever made that decision to vlog publicly, feel free to come and check in again. 

Till then... thank you for reading!

Thursday, February 11, 2016

Figuring out my life

How is it a 25 year old knows about what  she wants better than I do ? That's what I was thinking last week when I was talking to one of my colleagues. She seemed to have her life figured out. Made me feel somewhat depressed. I bounced back to my positive , optimistic self back in a week... Ahaha :) that took a while.

I wish I have my life figured out by now. Especially when I'm in my 30's. Truth is, I'm pretty sure I'm not alone and that somewhat comforts me. Hahaha once again.

But then again, all I can do is live daily the best I could because I don't know whether I'd live the next day even. I am sure I did not utilise my days 100% but I'm sure I am doing somewhat better than last year this time around. The point is to do better every time.

So at least on that I am clear. Be happy everyday as if it's my last. Do my best at work and learn or  gather  knowledge and experience as if I will have to live forever.

I am happy. I am working on myself. Let's see how much progress I will have made this time around next year. :)

One of the perks of waking up at dawn to see the beautiful sky. I am blessed. :)

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